Back to Reality

Call it arrogance.  Call it naivety.  Call it stupidity.  The truth is that it is likely a combo of the three.  I entered into the holiday season with the best of intentions.  I would drink little, cut out the unhealthy traditions that helped grow me to my stoutness over the years and still have a good time.  The season is all about enjoying the ones you love, right?  I know what went wrong.  I know why I gained over six pounds in a short two weeks of limited work load and vacation.  Hi.  My name is Mike and I am a food addict.  All together now... "HI, MIKE!"  

I should have known that I can't be trusted with being tempted at every turn by things I absolutely love.  An alcoholic can't have just one and I can't eat just one of my sister-in-law's short bread cookies (She is a true Scot, brogue and all).  I can usually have just one beer and often be fine with it.  Put me in vacation mode, where I am sleeping where I drink and my brain thinks all the rules are suspended and I'll get back on track later.  That's how it all falls to pieces.  Then it's fast food on the road to brother's house, breakfast out, cookies, wine, candy, fried food.  It was a never ending food orgy.  I can't be so arrogant that I feel I am above abstinence.  The attitude that I am some authority and can deal with food better than I did in the past just because of this last nine months' success is utter bullshit.  Now I have to redo do what took weeks and weeks to accomplish and mere days to tear down.  

I'm still feeling like I could be out of control, even as I sit here typing.  It's been hard these last few days to get back on track.  I find I constantly want something sweet, salty or just plain fatty.  I'm coping okay, but it's tougher than before.  I shouldn't be shocked to realize that when I am away from the blog it is as if no one is watching.  My meals and snacks don't get reported, so why not?  Idiot.  Well this has to be about more than who is watching.  Sure, accountability to my readers is why I set this up in the first place, but I am doing this for me.  Why can't I be accountable to me?

I can go on for ever on this subject, but I will spare you for tonight.  This may become part of a new series of blogs that are self analysis on why I often run from, and not to, success.  Hopefully some epiphany will come from it.  If I could figure that out, my future would limitless.  Besides, blogging is much cheaper than a shrink.

Cya tomorrow for This Week in Food.
M

What I ate today and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ I took a cue from my friend Kevin and made a smoothie.  5 or more servings of fruits and veggies in one healthy (and very tasty) beverage.  Tomorrow's blog will fill you in more and include this morning's concoction.
Lunch ~ leftover pork and sauerkraut stew
Mid-afternoon ~ Starbuck's Decaf Skinny Mocha
Dinner ~ rotisserie chicken and a nice salad
Exercise ~ none