How Did I Get Here? Part 18

I've been chronologically documenting how it is I got to a place in my life where I acknowledged my food addiction and decided to do something about it once and for all.  It’s been a cathartic, insightful and fun process doing a thumbnail sketch of my life as it pertains to my weight issues.  In the last entry, dubbed “Kentucky Fried Hernia”, I brought us to the fairly recent past.  That will probably be the last installment of “How Did I Get Here?” in a timeline structure.  From here I will go back, not weekly, but now and again, to fill in gaps, recount some stories of significance that would have muddied the flow of any particular post and, here and there, dip into some topics I haven’t been quite ready to discuss.  Looking at yourself in the mirror and publishing what you see isn’t always easy.  I do hope you have enjoyed my story as much as I have enjoyed telling it.

Last week’s episode spoke of the second hospital stay of my life, when it was time to take care of my long-standing hernia issue.  I was hopeful that it would put me in place where I could exercise more and get on track.  Of course, I was wrong about that.  I wasn’t ready for change, regardless of my physical state.  My issues were in my head, not my body.  There were stabs made at losing some weight and I did manage to shed about 17 lbs. between August of 2009 and February of 2012.  Honestly, though, if I didn’t come up with the ‘aha’ moment about using this blog as a catalyst for change, I would’ve likely put the pounds back on twofold in the long run.  Today I will backtrack a bit to the time just before my nuptials and leading up to my hernia repair.

Something that has played in the background during the last six years of my life, helping me to medicate myself through food, was my new family dynamic.  Tabitha’s daughter Justine dealt with addictions of her own since before I met her.  I have often thought, and written of here, that food is a different breed of addiction all together.  I am no expert and this is totally my personal viewpoint, but if drugs, alcohol or smoking are your poison, then you find a way to stop taking them in order to solve your problem.  Certainly not at all an easy thing to do, but with a food addiction, you have to address your issues every time you nourish yourself and if you don’t, it’s  a slow downward spiral until you hit bottom or eat your way into a piano crate, six feet under.  Drugs are usually a faster, much sharper decline and they bring you to the brink of destruction, or beyond, quite fast.  I truly find them evil.  Unfortunately they were the demons that Justine dealt with and, by association, Tabitha and I. 

In January of 2008, Justine left this world a troubled soul.  It is a very hard thing to not only watch a young, smart, talented and extremely funny young woman do such harm to herself, as Justine did over those years I knew her, but  it is harder seeing the woman you love, her mother, try to struggle toward finding a solution and ultimately dealing with the aftermath of losing a child.  It stresses every aspect of life for the survivors and is a perfect reason for a food addict to keep feeding the monster.  I don’t wish losing a child on my worst enemy.  I give tremendous credit to my wife for handling things as well as she did.  As close as I am to the situation, I cannot imagine what it is like for her.

The loss took its toll on Tab’s parents as well.  It was also painful observing them trying to makes sense of something that never could make sense.  That troubling situation came to an abrupt end a short time later.  To add to the trauma inflicted upon my dear wife, her mother Rose passed away suddenly in December of 2009.  As if that weren’t enough heaped upon her, Tabitha’s father Tony died of a previously undiagnosed bone cancer, less than three months later.  A great deal of pain was thrust upon us in such a short period.  Since I had never been one to drink to excess or ever take controlled substances, I, of course, turned to food to soothe my soul.  The twenty-two months following my wedding packed about 40+ lbs. on to my already large frame.  While I certainly don’t hold anyone but myself accountable for my food issues, the tough times written about here today certainly contributed to my own downward spiral or, if nothing else, gave me an excuse to self-medicate as a junk food junkie.

Cya next time,

M

What I ate Friday and how I exercised:

Breakfast ~ Kashi 7 Grain Nuggets w/banana, toasted pecans and almond milk

Lunch ~ Chicken Tortilla soup (minus the tortillas) and half a Mediterranean Vegetable Sandwich from Panera, delivered to my working self by the lovely Tabitha.  Thanks, Hon!

Snack ~ Some carrots and hummus, whilst my Aunt H prepared a glorious meal for us in the country

Dinner ~ A fabulous vegetarian spread was laid before us, consisting of homemade gazpacho and an asparagus, snap pea and avocado salad.  H outdid herself in accommodating our lifestyle with fabulous tasting food.  Look for a guest post from her on July 11^th, while I am on a flight to Boise, ID.

Exercise ~ No time Friday.  Worked non-stop until I left for a weekend in the Catskill Mountains.  There will be plenty of walking ahead of me today.

Food Thursday 06.28.12

I am spent right now.  So tired.  A very busy day is coming to a close.  I started with a business breakfast at 9:00 a.m. and haven't stopped until just now at 9:20 p.m.  I managed to get all my work done, make a  vegetable lasagna to bring to my aunt's house this weekend and then cleaned up the aftermath.  But, dear reader, I am not too tired to take care of you with good food.  Real good food.  Today we have a smoothie that will please everyone in your house from the kids to the adults.  Maybe even Rover, although I wouldn't recommend it.  Enjoy this sweet treat.


Peanut Butter Banana Chocolate Smoothie
I had a hankering for something cold and sweet last week.  I looked in my fridge to see what could sate my craving.  We had some frozen bananas and almond milk.  I had my Vitamix, the ultimate blender.  Sounds like the makings of a smoothie to me!  What else could I add to the mix to punch this up and keep the calories and fat in check?  A touch of cocoa powder, two packets of Splenda and some peanut butter would do the trick.  I also had some blueberries that were in the category of "use it or lose it."  You won't taste the berries, but they will add some extra nutritional value.  Man, this was delicious.  Just add all of the ingredients below and blend until smooth.  If you would like it thicker, use less almond milk.  Thinner, a touch more almond milk or an extra ice cube.  What a great treat that comes in at 178 calories per serving.  This recipe makes 2 servings, because you have to share something this delicious.


Ingredients
1 frozen banana
1 Tbs cocoa powder
2 packets Splenda or your favorite sweetener
1/4 cup fresh blueberries
1.5 Tbs organic smooth peanut butter
1 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk (sub fat free milk if you like)
2 ice cubes


Look for Friday's "How Did I Get Here" on Saturday morning.
Cya then,
M


What I ate today and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ Decaf coffee, steak w/2 eggs over and dry wheat toast
Lunch ~ Grilled chicken Caesar salad
Mid-afternoon ~ Grande Decaf Mocha Lite Frappaccino
Dinner ~ Leftover chicken corn soup
Exercise ~ on my feet a lot today.  I did do anything one could call 'exercise'

What's In My Head Wednesday

Midweek is here and that means WIMHW once again.  Here you will find what is on my mind.  Well, at least the stuff I am willing to share.  A dude is entitled to some secrets, right?  I do throw more out there than most I suppose.  Let's get to it then...




Tomato, Tomahto
See this little red gem?  It is the first mater from my lonely tomato plant .  I wrote earlier this year that I was thinking about buying a large container to garden in.  It was more like a garden trough.  Unfortunately, they were on back-order until July, so I opted for a singular plant that came in its own pot and frame to hold it up as it grows.  I guess it looks like a little Eiffel Tower with a plant growing through the middle.  At $12 for the plant, I'll more than break even on the savings...assuming the rest grow bigger than a golf ball.  Tomatoes have gotten out of hand, price-wise.  I've also got some basil plants in a container.  Rather than buying bunches of basil, I would buy those plants they sell at the grocer and, until recently, kept three on my kitchen window sill.  Now they keep the tomatoes company outside.  Just call me Mr. Greenjeans.  It feels good to grow stuff.


Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution
I saw a show on ABC last year in which Jamie Oliver of "The Naked Chef" fame took on a West Virginia school system's cafeteria offerings.  I noticed today that the whole series is being re-run on BBC America.  If you get this channel in your TV package, check out this series.  What I find amazing is not only the garbage that schools are feeding our kids, but the resistance to change from administrators.  Jamie is an inspiring guy that could easily be the a spokesperson for TDT195.  In recent years he has decided to use his celebrity to educate people on both sides of the Atlantic about healthy cooking.  The program premiers on BBC America on Tuesday, July 10 at 8PM.  Check your local channel line-up.


I Don't Wanna Look
Walking into the Walgreen's tonight I got a good glimpse of myself on the security cam.  It was a head-to-toe perspective of me walking into the store in my new khaki slacks and a golf shirt.  I thought I looked good when I left the house.  I winced though when I saw the myself on the screen.  I'm still quite large and it's painful for me to look at.  I am in a much better place than I was 5 months ago, but I have a ways to go yet.  The difference is, I am eager to get there instead of dreading the journey.  Thanks for coming along.


Cya Thursday for a great smoothie recipe,
M


What I ate today and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ Kashi 7 Grain Nuggets w/ half a banana, toasted pecans and almond milk
Lunch ~ Whole grain pasta with marinara sauce, sauteed onions and peppers, and a chopped up up chicken burger
Snack ~ Some beef jerky
Dinner ~ Chicken corn soup and some vegetable maki (sushi)
Exercise ~ none

Slowly I Turn

As I am slowly transforming myself into half the man I used to be, I thought it might be beneficial to state why I am going about this drive to 195 in a steady methodical manner.  It can be looked at from two viewpoints.  One would be the psychological aspects of the process and certain pitfalls that are avoided by taking your time.  We'll save those more personal and conceptual points for another entry.  Today I would like to go over the physical side of slow reduction.  Why is it so much better to take your time, especially if you have a long way to go?  Here are several reasons:


Avoiding Nutrient Deficiency
When attempting to make long terms changes, you have to be sure to fuel your body properly.  As you are reducing your body fat percentage, you still need to take in all the micronutrients, vitamins, minerals, proteins and carbohydrates that keep things running efficiently and healthily.  Cut back too much and some of these building blocks are bound to be in short supply.  Also, rapid weight loss can cause your body to go into defense mode and actually slow down your metabolism.  A slow and steady approach will keep your furnace working at peak performance and your organs happy.


Healthier Hair
When I had my bypass surgery ten years back, they recommended using special shampoo (Nioxin) to help reduce hair loss.  That was because not only does the gastric bypass result in a malabsorptive system, but the greatly reduced amount of food will cut the levels of vitamins, minerals and fatty acids essential to healthy hair in anyone's system.  Maintaining a new healthier lifestyle instead of speed dieting promotes that bounce and luster in which all the shampoo commercials claim to give you.  Trust me.  Which shampoo you choose has a lot less to do with it than what you eat.


Prevent Loose Skin
Your skin is your body's largest organ, so it makes perfect sense that you need to give it great consideration when losing weight.  I have spoken time and again of my upcoming need for surgery to remove excess skin.  But that is for me, due to the vast gap between my heaviest and my intended goal weight.  However, I will still yield some of the benefits from slow weight loss in the skin department.  My face will look less deflated and my lower legs won't get as much like the proverbial 'elephants wrinkly ones' that some brat compared his mother's to in a seventies pantyhose commercial.  Alas, my arms, thighs, chest and belly are already doomed.  For the rest of you without these extremes, slow weight loss gives your body a chance to let your skin contract onto its new frame.  Give your skin a break.  Go slow.


Build Muscle Instead of Feeding Off Of It
When your system is taking in much reduced fuel, its ancient programming kicks in, thinking that it needs to safeguard against starvation.  It will look for sources of energy other than food...namely your muscle cells.  Feed your body just the right amount food to promote weight loss and it won't scare itself into a cannibalistic machine.   The end result will be a firmer, leaner body.


Longer Lasting Success
This spills into the psychological realm as well, but when you permanently change your lifestyle it will be easier to maintain the weight loss for the long term.  You will steadily reset your internal thermostat to work properly.  This careful reprogramming will become essential in your metabolism's ability to assess reality, because it has had a continual pattern to recognize instead of frequent anomalies throwing it for a loop.  It will be less apt to lapse into the yo-yo effect that is so bad for your heart and other organs.  You turn into a finely tuned instrument, optimally processing food for fuel, rather than storing fat for future crises.


In today's society of microwaves, computers and everything 'on demand', we are prone to expect immediacy.  It is very easy to be taken in by fad diets and potion's claims to help you get thin fast.  The old adage that says nothing worth having comes easy, is very true in this case.  A thinner, healthier you is very worth having, but it takes dedication and time.  If you are serious about wanting a better, more active healthy life, then slow down.  Take your time, because five years from now when you are still the svelte you you desired, you'll be glad you did.


Cya Wednesday,
M


What I ate today and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ Kashi 7 Grain Nuggets w/banana, toasted pecans and almond milk
Lunch ~ A big salad w/mixed greens, tuna, cannelini beans, roasted red peppers and quick marinated mushrooms (recipe sometime soon), all lightly coated in a homemade balsamic vinaigrette
Dinner ~ TBD
Exercise ~ A 30 minute walk

Weigh-in: Week 20

Where does the time go?  This is my twentieth weigh-in!  It was a good one, too.  I knew I was on target this week, but I didn't imagine I would get back the 3.6 lbs. the bad batteries in my scale stole from my ego.  But I did, plus a tiny bit more.  I was originally hoping to get under 300 by July 4th, but wasn't putting pressure on myself to do so.  I don't think I'll get there by a week from Wednesday.  So what?  I'm thrilled with the progress to date.


This morning I went 'old school' and did everything I could do in order to get my number down before hitting the scale.  I executed the two relevant Ss and left the shower for after, trimmed my beard, spit a few times and of course got nekkid.  The result was the 305.8 lbs. you see documented to the right.  That's 3.8 lb. loss from last week.  Body fat percentage is down 0.5% to 58.1% and water rose to 27.9%.  I think when it hits 30 I'll sell.


Cya Tuesday,
M


What I ate today and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ Amy's Samosa burrito
Lunch ~ I hosted a lunch and learn at a customer today and brought in a catered lunch.  I had some overly dressed chicken Caesar salad, a VERY small veggie wrap and then gave in to one of my 5 month deprived cravings.  I ate a small slice of plain pizza, minus the crust.  It was delightful and I enjoyed every bite.  No regrets.  Cya again in 5 months or so, pizza.
Dinner ~ TBD
Exercise ~ I am giving my back another day to feel better.  Today it is pretty good.  Tomorrow I walk.

A.L.O.E. 06.24.12

This is the 132nd post of my blogging career.  That isn't of much significance.  I just noticed it and thought I would throw it out there.  That's a lot of brain dump.  Here are a few more items to add to the list of things we've discussed here at TDT195.  A Little Of Everything, just as we do every Sunday.

Milestone of Note

132 posts isn't exactly a monumental checkpoint on life's path, but something else is today.  It was 30 years ago today that I graduated from high school.  It causes me to reflect, is my life what I could have envisioned back then in my youth.  I certainly wouldn't have foreseen my struggle with weight being anywhere near as difficult as it has been.  While there are a few things I'd change, these years have treated me fairly well.  I've done okay for myself.  Sure, there is always room for improvement and that is why I am typing this right now.  I look forward to graduating from this learning experience, so I can live another 30 years and more, building on the improvements I'm making today.

Mix It Up

This would normally fit into Food Thursday's content, but since we touch upon all kinds of things on Sundays, why not?  I've spoken of my relationship with my Magic Bullet mixer that I love so.  It gets used 4-5 times per week.  One piece of kitchen equipment I do not pull out nearly as much, but is indespensible in our kitchen, is our Vitamix Blender. It is the Cadillac of blenders and, for my money, worth every penny.  One tasty way to get your veggies and/or fruits in, is a smoothie.  In the warmer months, we keep frozen bananas on hand as a base for all kinds of concoctions.  You can easily sneak green leafy vegetables like kale, or even broccoli, into your recipes without getting that 'vegetal' taste.  Tonight as part of my dinner, I treated myself to a shake of sorts; a chocolate peanut butter banana smoothie.  I'll post the recipe on Thursday.  It is a treat and shouldn't be overdone, just like most everything else, but it is 164 calories per 8 oz. serving and is incredibly delicious.  Other uses for your Vitamix could be soups, sauces and even nut butters.  Love our Vitamix!

Good Times

A big thanks to my cousins John and Ingrid who had us to their home yesterday in celebration of their son's graduation from high school.  There were plenty of healthy options on hand.  They made it doubly enjoyable to be able to be with family in an environment conducive to my lifestyle.  The lentil salad, black bean and corn salad and grilled chicken were all delicious.  I also enjoyed my first real beer in almost 5 months.  I split a Miller High Life with the wife.  I drank most of it actually.  It felt good to walk away from a great day with family with the knowledge that I did no harm.  I will admit the cannolis and cake were a little hard to walk away from, but I did.  It was a really nice time.

What I ate today and how I exercised:

Breakfast ~ Kashi 7 Grain Nuggets w/toasted almond slivers, banana and almond milk

Lunch ~ 2 97% fat free hot dogs with mustard and sweet pickled peppers on a sprouted grain roll

Snack ~ A huge honkin' carrot w/roasted pine nut hummus

Dinner ~ Burger and a shake.  A Gardenburger Black Bean Chipotle Burger on a multi-grain deli flat and the chocolate peanut butter banana smoothie to be exact.
Exercise ~ I was going to do a lot more in the yard today than I did, but I tweaked my back unload our P.A. equipment from the car.  It was just some mowing and edging.  Oh, and some painful roadie work.

How Did I Get Here?: Part 17

It was in August of 2009 that Colonel Sanders landed me in the hospital for almost a week.  I guess I should first give you the facts leading up to the southern fried trauma.  For years I dealt with an umbilical hernia.  This is when your intestines pop through a tear in your abdominal lining and cause a bubble-like protrusion.  It can happen in plenty of places on the body, but it is commonly in the navel.  That was the case with mine for the longest time.  My innie would become an outtie and, man, was it uncomfortable.


When you have such an ailment, the quick and easy way get relief is to simply 'pop' it back in.  It literally does make a squishy 'pop' sound.  In the beginning it was mild pressure that needed to be applied and the protrusion was small.  As time moved on it would get progressively larger and take more effort to right the situation.  At the bowling alley I would deal with it weekly.  I'd have to duck into the bathroom, start pressing and would grimace as the offending bubble would be banished back to its proper home.  Once or twice, if there was no private space in the john, I would have to slide my hand in just below the belt-line and do my thing in a common area.  A half-drunk keggler would come in and see me with my hand in my pants, doing unnatural gyrations and making pained expressions and I was sure I would be carted off to the hoosegow for public lewdness.  Maybe Pee Wee Herman just had a hernia?  Nah.


In the spring of 2009 I went to see a surgeon to find out how to fix the problem.  We targeted September of that year for the surgery.  The hernia had other ideas.  In August, my brother and sister-in-law were in from Vegas with their two boys and we were to babysit while they saw friends in the city.  Not being a expert on feeding picky kids, we opted for some good old KFC with all the trimmings.  After a couple of pieces of chicken, a biscuit or three and some slaw, I felt the warmth and dull queasiness in my midsection and knew it was time to do my reverse pop thing.  One problem though...my poultry packed intestine wouldn't budge.  I tried for an hour and no luck. The pain became increasingly more intense.  I was off to the last place I wanted to be on a Friday night; the E.R.  


The doctors, attendants and me, myself, tried for a few hours to resolve the herniated area.  I had teams of burly men in scrubs straddling me and pressing down.  Had I been Richard Simmons, this would've been like Disney World, but for me...not so much.  This went on for over three hours.  I was sore, bruised and battered.  Not battered like the extra-crispy goodness that did me in.  I am talking majorly beat up.  So much for September.  Bring in the A-team; the surgeons.


Surgery on someone of my size if never an easy undertaking (perhaps undertaking is a poor choice of words.).  The anesthesiologist actually got paid more than the surgeon. Keeping a fat man down during gut reconstruction is apparently quite an undertaking.  Since Ididn't wake up to find my innards all splayed out on my belly, I guess he did okay.  $4750 for two hours of work, even if at 2AM, is hard to swallow though.  I got through the operation just fine and spent a few more days recovering in the hospital.


While at Morristown Memorial I endured several indignities, self-imposed by my addictive habits.  My food addiction likely landed me in that bed and I accept that.  The first emotionally scarring moment was that once I actually was able to pass the Colonel through my system, I was in such discomfort that I couldn't maneuver around to clean myself.  I sat in the small bathroom wanting to die, knowing that I was gong to have to call for help.  A sweet faced, older woman answered my button press and cleaned me up without complaint.  I must have thanked her and apologized a hundred times.  It heightened my respect for these caregivers.  It also made me think that I never want to get old to the point where I can't take care of myself.


Another mortifying moment happened just as I was released.  One of the nurses pulled my wife aside and told her that they have scales in the beds.  Who knew?  She told Tab that I was tipping the scales, or bed rather, at 380 lbs.  For one thing, I wasn't aware that I was that heavy again.  Another was that I was thoroughly embarrassed and angry that she went to my wife, instead of me, with the info.  As much as you share with your spouse, there is a imaginary line that doesn't get crossed.  The obese are deluded into thinking it is our secret sometimes and being confronted with the ugly facts by the person you love the most is very hard to handle. Maybe that was the nurse's rationale, but despite these negative experiences, it took me another 18 months to reach the pivotal decision to change my life for good.


Cya next time,
M


What I ate Friday and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ Kashi 7 Grain Nuggets w/banana, fresh blueberries, toasted pecans and almond milk
Lunch ~ A vegan stir fry with my friend Doug at Veggie Heaven in Denville, NJ
Afternoon snack ~ I made a smoothie with banana, almond milk, peanut butter, a handful of berries, cocoa powder and a couple of Splenda packets.  Unbelievably good!
Dinner ~ None due to my gig, but I snatched maybe 4 potato chips off the bar and had 2 O'Douls
Exercise ~ Another gig workout

Hydrotherapy for a Food Thursday 06.21.12

Not hydrotherapy in the sense of swimming.  We're talking about hydrating yourself here.  Water is a basic building block of all food, so it fits right in with our Thursday theme.  I, for one, need to drink a lot more of it.  I am not one of those people that doesn't like water.  I never understood them.  Over the years I have heard varying amounts on what our daily intake of water should be.  No matter what the prevailing conventional wisdom, it's probable that you aren't getting enough.  Drink up.  Here are some benefits to help sway you to more H2O consumption.


1: Lose Weight ~ Drinking more water helps flush out the byproducts of fat breakdown.  It helps fill you up and can act as an appetite suppressant.  If you are trying to eat less at meals, have a big glass of water prior to dining and see what that does to your levels of food intake.


2: Better Skin ~ Yet another reason I need to drink more.  Water improves the health of your skin by moisturizing, aiding in tissue replenishment and increasing elasticity.  If you have a great deal of weight to lose, helping that skin hang less will be a huge benefit. Plus, it can help reduce wrinkles.


3: Brain Power ~ Your brain is made up of 75% water, so it makes sense that when you are properly hydrated it will work better.  You will be have increased concentration, be more alert and improve your mood.  If you have been dehydrated, you probably know that your brain turns flaky and your coordination goes down the tubes.  Feed your brain...with water!


4: Lubricate Muscles ~ Exercise is essential to weight loss, right?  Well, if you aren't properly hydrated, cramps will keep you from doing anything worthwhile.  By keeping your muscles well lubricated with H2O, you will steer clear of those agonizing charlie horses and aid in avoiding sprains.


5: Possible Reduction of Certain Cancers ~ Drinking water can improve colon and bladder health.  Water dilutes cancer-causing agents and flushes them out of the system quicker, reducing the time they are in contact with your organs.


6: Water Instead of Less Healthy Options ~ If you are choosing nature's purest beverage, then you are avoiding drinks that are bad for you.  Concoctions laden with sugar and/or high fructose corn syrup, caffeine, lactose and a host of other lesser options are usually what we reach for when thirsty.  With zero calories, fat or anything else for that matter, water is the perfect choice to quench your thirst.


These are just a few of the reasons why we should all drink more water.  There are many more.  If you have any that are not listed here, feel free to leave them in the comments section for the rest of us.  


It's hot out there today. Stay hydrated.


Cya later,
M


What I ate Thursday and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ 7 Grain Kashi Nuggets w/banana, fresh blueberries, toasted pecans and almond milk
Lunch ~ A HUGE salad with tuna and assorted veggies w/homemade lemon balsamic vinaigrette
Dinner ~ None.  I often don't eat dinner when we have a gig.  I I did, however, have an O'Douls and a few pretzels at the bar.
Exercise ~ It's good exercise being a roadie and singing for a few hours.

What's In My Head Wednesday 06.20.12

Hump day is about feelings, observations and my outlook on the progress of the project.  Well one thing I can tell you, I am feeling hot and sluggish in this sweltering northeast heat and humidity.  Being a fat man in summertime has never been fun.  I'll spare you the details, but take my word for it.  It ain't a picnic.


Outlook
I'd love to say that when I am in the throws of being Mr. TDT195, everything is positive and my outlook is always sunny.  The truth is that sometimes it is frustrating.  There are days when 195 seems like too far a distance to get to.  There are days when I just don't want to cook a healthy meal packed with veggies.  I'd rather just grab something out of the fridge and throw it in the microwave.  I'm human, just like you.  I imagine that folks look at me and think I've unlocked some magic formula that always puts me in a happy place where motivation is plentiful and determination is steady.  I will admit that I am much more positive and determined than ever, but some days it's a little harder.  The magic part is pushing through and not letting those moments throw you.


Wishing I Could Help
I have quite a few friends that are in the same boat I have been all my life.  They yo-yo back and forth with their weight and the second 'yo' is always higher than where they started.  It really does pain me to watch, much like I am sure that it has been painful for my loved ones to watch me struggle over the years.  I have wives come to me and ask "Can you talk to him and let him know how you are doing it?"  I politely tell them that I cannot.  The switch has to go off in his own head and he has to decide.  I can't transplant motivation for a healthy life.  We all have our different tipping point.  If only there was a mechanism that could allow me to help others find that catalyst for change, but people want a magic bullet.  It's as mythical as unicorns I'm afraid.


Writing
This is being written on a Thursday morning.  My apologies to those of you that may have looked for a post on Wednesday night.  There are some days that I cannot bring myself to sit down and post.  Either the ideas aren't flowing or the motivation is elusive.  I've bitched about this before I know, but I am running out of ideas once again.  I have nifty apps that allow me to jot down notes from anywhere, be it my phone or laptop or even my kindle and they magically appear on all three. (Check out the free app, Evernote.  It rocks.)  That TDT195 topics virtual scratchpad I keep is often the first place I look when deciding a subject for the day's blog.  It's been drying up as of late.  If you can help, drop me a line and tell me what you'd like to read about or ask a question I can address.  Thanks, folks.


Cya Thursday,
M


What I ate Wednesday and how I exercised:
Breakfast: 2 eggs scrambled with 1 Italian chicken sausage, peppers and onions
Lunch: Eggplant stew with whole grain pasta
Snack: I found these dark chocolate vegan truffles at WFM.  They are about 95 calories each and one makes me feel satisfied and naughty all at the same time.  A little dark chocolate is good in moderation.
Dinner: Two 97% fat free dogs on a sprouted grain bun with mustard and one of my pickles.
Exercise: I need a kick in the ass again.  I should've gone to mall for walking...didn't.

Managing Perception

It's been said that happiness is a choice.  I have espoused that theory myself over the years and I truly believe that we need to make a conscious decision to be happy.  Surely the medical community and drug companies want us to believe that chemical imbalances are to blame, but I think that a VERY small percentage of people have this issue.  My wife and I do love the music in the commercials for drugs like Pristiq and Cymbalta.  I've often thought that the music alone could be a much less expensive antidepressant.  They could just sell CDs with titles like "Mood Music" or "Sero-tunin'".

Just as I believe that happiness is mostly a choice, I feel that we need to control our perceptions on how life's cards are dealt to us.  Step outside yourself and be objective about what the facts before you really mean.  This week, that is my challenge.

Yesterday, I reported that my scale was being a royal pain in the kiester and wouldn't give me results worth a turd.  Last week's numbers were also suspect.  The scale's batteries have now been replaced and the little glass disc is once again behaving.  My problem?  How to manage the information presented to me.

What the scale tells me does not change my actual weight.  That may sound confusing, but if you actually weigh 140 lbs. and the scale tells you that you weigh 150, do you still actually weigh 140?  Yes.  Of course, you do.  That is where I am today.  Psychologically, of course, not weight-wise.   Last week the scale told me I weighed 306.  Yesterday, 306.6.  Today, with new batteries, 309.6 lbs.  I have to decide whether to wallow in the perception that I gained 3.6 lbs. in a week or that my results were flawed and I just have to move on from here.  I choose the latter.  It is totally counter-productive to think otherwise.  In reality, nothing has changed.  The scorecard just didn't reflect actuality.  No big deal.

Cya tomorrow,

M

What I ate today and how I exercised:

Breakfast ~ Egg McMuffin and decaf w/milk (The real Egg McMuffin, not my own version.)

Lunch ~ 2 low fat hot dogs (40 calories ea) on a sprouted grain roll w/ spicy Dijon mustard and one of my pickles.  Good food to eat on the run, in the car.

Snack ~ Grande Decaf Mocha Lite Frappaccino and some beef jerky

Dinner ~ A Chipotle Black Bean Garden Burger w/sauteed onions, portobello mushrooms on a multi-grain deli flat and an avocado tomato salad

Exercise ~ None :(

Weigh-in: Week 19

Weigh-ins should take no more than a minute, tops.  It was with great consternation that I finally gave up this morning after 20 minutes of not being able obtain an official result.  The scale was literally all over the place.  I got readings from 299.2 lbs. to 312 lbs. and everywhere in between.  I always look for a duplicate result so I can consider it confirmed and official.  I am going to have to replace the batteries and reweigh myself tomorrow in order to double check the 'unofficial' number you see below.


I am going to use 306.6 lbs. for this week's weigh-in.  It is the most plausible result of the half dozen or so numbers the scale offered up this morning.  Body fat was recorded at 57.9% and water at 28.0%, both identical to last week.  These numbers alone show a discrepancy, because if my weight rose 0.6 lbs, the other percentages should have changed as well.  Check back tomorrow night for more info.


Cya then,
M


What I ate today and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ A chicken burger with fried egg sandwich: 320 calories but tasted like 600.
Lunch ~ Amy's Samosa burrito
Snack ~ Pickled carrot sticks
Dinner ~ Pan seared tilapia atop braised kale, cannelini beans and tomatoes.  Dang that was good!
Exercise ~ none

A.L.O.E. 06.1712

Feeling quite fatigued this evening.  Even though I got a lot accomplished today, it was all fairly light duty.  (I said duty, not doody, you knucklehead.  Are you 12?  lol)  Anyhoo, today I got up with the pups, made my breakfast and cleaned up the stuff in the sink.  Then I mowed the lawn, mended a fence (a real fence, not a metaphorical one), went grocery shopping and to the Home Depot.  When I got home; had lunch, raked out and reseeded the front yard, planted my basil plants in a pot and that was it until I made a light dinner.  It sounds like a lot more than it was.  My fatigue levels must react based on how things sound I guess.  Here's a few items for our A Little Of Everything Sunday.


Not a Good Eating Weekend Week
This weekend, this whole week, rather, was a bit of a challenge.  Thursday was a golf outing complete with buffet meals with few healthy choices.  Friday we took my sister out to dinner and I had a few drinks, plus the crab-stuffed shrimp I had ordered seemed heavier than expected from the menu description.  Yesterday, two parties.  Not a great many choices there, either, although I did select as best I could in each situation.  Overall, I am not all that happy with my performance this week.


You Skinny Mother *#$%&!
It was rather amusing yesterday when visiting with our dear friends for their annual Father's Day BBQ.  I was greeted with "Hey, Skinny" a number of times and one rousing "You Skinny Mother *#$%&!" from my friend T.  LOL  Hardly.  But the wife was quick to point out how very noticeable my weight loss is.  She asked me if I see it.  I really don't too much.  Then again, others have a different vantage point than I do.  I feel far from a Skinny MoFo, but I'll take what I can get.


A New Golf Experience
While tooling around the fairways of a Long Island golf course this past week, I was struck by a few things.  Fortunately, golf balls weren't among them.  One was that at the end of the day I felt pretty good.  Usually, in finishing the back nine, I am ready to pack it in long before the last putt is sunk.  Not this time.  A second new development was in the cart.  For the first time I recall, I could drive the cart without the steering wheel rubbing against my ample belly.  I have gone home too many times with black streaks across my shirt from the wheel.  I had a good three to four inches to spare.


Number 19 Tomorrow
I know I say this all the time, but I am not feeling too good about weigh-in this week.  Aside from the scale acting weird last Monday, I felt the results were suspect.  Mostly because of the varied results I kept getting all over the map until I settled in at 306 two times.  We'll see...


Cya then,
M


What I ate today and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ Scrambled Sausage Mikemuffin
Lunch ~ Ham and smoked turkey, avocado, tomato and chipotle low fat mayo on a multi-grain sandwich flat
Dinner ~ Chicken Burger on a sandwich flat with a big salad.
Exercise ~ Yard work

How Did I Get Here?: Part 16

On March 3rd of 2007 I got engaged to my Tabitha.  We picked out the ring together, although she didn't know when I would pop the question.  I opted for her 40th birthday party in front of family and friends.  Normally I wouldn't condone such a time or place for a big moment like this, but since I knew the answer was yes, I planned out a strategy for surprising someone who knew what was coming eventually.  Not an easy thing to do.  I arranged for a friend to re-image the lyric on a karaoke duet that Tab and I perform to this day and it was to be an on-screen proposal to catch her off guard.  The time arrived and the disc wouldn't work. Crap!  Improvising, I got down on one knee and in front of everyone, asked her to be my bride.  When a 360-pound man gets down on one knee to propose, he should really think about how he will be getting back up.  I didn't plan that far ahead and in the process, fell over like a Weeble.  Well, almost like a Weeble.  I wobbled AND I fell down as I struggled to get back upright.  Talk about humiliating.


The wife and I planned every detail of our wedding.  We wanted to do things our way and not the cookie-cutter packages that each banquet hall seemed to push.  We finally settled on a place where we knew the banquet manager and we could tailor everything to our liking, including vegan options for Tab and a few of our friends.  Everything about the affair was unique to us.  We knew we didn't want a religious ceremony as neither of us are church-goin' folk so we opted to have someone we both know, love and respect do the hitchin'.  My Aunt Heidi graciously accepted and went about the steps to have herself ordained online to legally marry us.  The ceremony was filled with lots thoughtfully selected music and the reception was to include live vocal performances from Tab and I, including our own choreographed wedding song.  The planning was long and arduous, but it was a labor of love...literally.


This was kind of a stressful time for me.  I wanted to lose some weight so I could make strides toward a better life for us and, at the very least, look good for my wedding day.  My mother, who lived in the house she and I co-owned and shared, was in the process of moving to other digs and money the likes of which I had never thrown around before was flying out the door as fast as we could earn it.  All together, I think we went about 50% over budget in the end.  More on that in a bit.  Needless to say, stress is not very conducive to lasting lifestyle changes and weight loss. 


In January 2008, three months prior to our wedding, Tab and I lost someone very close to us in a very tragic way.  Consequently, we decided to push our wedding out until October of that year and regroup.  The wedding hall gave us a new date and we had another six months to gather our thoughts and move on with our lives.  As if life wasn't stressful enough, it went into overdrive from there.  Despite trying to...scratch that, WANTING to lose significant weight prior to the big day, I once again could not get a handle on it.  I managed to lose 20-25 pounds or so in the year and a half of planning, but I failed miserably at making any permanent changes.


One of the major causes of angst prior to the wedding day came about two weeks before.  We got word that our venue had been marked for seizure by the bankruptcy courts.  We had already given them thousands of dollars and, while they wanted to continue with our contract and move forward, we couldn't risk it.  Our biggest fear was showing up and having the place padlocked and closed after having thrown even more money at a bad situation.  We walked away from the investment and managed to find a new site, alert all the guests and throw, in my humble opinion, the best wedding I had ever been a part of.


I see pictures of myself from our big day and many of them make me cringe a bit.  Tabitha wanted a certain picture over our fire place, one in which I thought I looked quite wide, but the reality of it is, there isn't much anyone can do short of blatant photoshopping that will slim my image down with any success.  I relented to Tab's wishes and while it is not the worst picture of the event, the one you see above is a lasting reminder of my girth on the day I wed.


Cya Sunday,
M


What I ate Friday and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ The very Italian Egg Mikemuffin you saw in Food Thursday
Lunch ~ Eggplant stew over brown rice
Snacks throughout the day ~ I kept going back to my pickled carrots all day Friday.  Couldn't get enough.
Dinner ~ Took out sis for her birthday.  I overdid it.  A glass of red and seafood salad to start.  Stuffed shrimp and veggies with a taste of the mashed potatoes as a second course.  After, I decided to treat myself to a Southern Comfort on the rocks.  My bartender friend over-poured to begin with and topped me off when I wasn't looking.  Not a great TDT195 kind of evening.
Exercise ~ none

Food Thursday 06.14.12

Okay.  So the title above is a little bit of a lie.  It's Friday.  I came in around 10 last night from a golf outing and was too dog tired to write.  Speaking of dogs, I am writing this from my patio surrounded by three pups, Winnie, Riley and Fay, our foster dog of the month.  They are sprawled out laying on the cool pavers, living a dog's life...except for Riley that is.  He is by my side begging for some of my egg sandwich.  The very egg sandwich that is the subject of today's entry, the Egg Mikemuffin.


This has become a very typical breakfast for me.  It takes about 12 minutes, start to finish, is substantial and über flavorful; the key to keeping things interesting and staying on course in your healthy lifestyle.  Here is one variant of the Mikemuffin, the Italian Egg Mikemuffin. That's pronounced 'EYEtalian' for those of you in the south.  Other variants I make are with one slice of ham, Canadian bacon or chicken apple sausage.  The Italian is due to the chicken Italian sausage used and an easy tomato basil topping, in place of ketchup.  At 320 calories or so, 5g of fiber and 6.5g of fat, it's seems much more decadent than it actually is.


Italian Egg Mikemuffin


Ingredients:
1 egg
olive oil spray or regular spray such as PAM
salt & pepper to taste
8 cherry tomatoes
2-4 leaves fresh basil, shredded
1 multi-grain or whole grain deli flat (aka as sandwich rounds, depending on the brand)
1 link Italian style chicken sausage


Method:

1. Preheat toaster oven to 450.
2. Place your tomatoes on a metal tray or foil and coat with the cooking spray, salt and pepper and cook in the toaster oven for 6-8 minutes.
3. While your tomatoes are cooking, lightly coat a non-stick skillet with cooking spray and fry or scramble your egg to your desired doneness.  I use a ring mold to keep it all cheffylike and in the shape of the bread.
4. Season your egg with salt and pepper and place your it on the deli flat to warm it through.
5. Slice your sausage almost all the way through, to lay it flat in the pan.  (You may wish to remove the casing, as I find the Al Fresco brand I use to be a tad tough.)  Once browned, add to sandwich.
6. In a small bowl mash your tomatoes and add the basil.  Top your sandwich with it.
7. Enjoy!

Take the time to have a good breakfast.  It fuels you for the morning and keeps you from looking to stray around 10:30AM.  If you can make yourself something hot and tasty, all the better.

Cya later,

M

What I ate Thursday and how I exercised:

Breakfast ~ A Detour protein bar in the car

Morning snack ~ Sweet 'n Salty Almond bar on the course

Lunch ~ One burger patty w/o bun, a pickle and a salad

Cocktail hour ~ Some veggies and hummus, 2 chicken teriyaki skewers and a glass of red wine

Dinner ~ Tomato salad w/one slice of mozzarella, Caesar salad, salmon with steamed veggies.  Decaf coffee w/milk

Exercise ~ 18 holes of golf

What's In My Head Wednesday 06.13.12

It's been a long day of meetings, emails and phone calls.  When I finally got finished with as much as I could do, I made dinner, ate and then headed out to hit some golf balls in preparation for tomorrow's golf outing in Long Island.  Guess it will be another long day with another late blog post on Thursday.  Here's what's in my tired head today.


Like A Surgeon
I called the surgeons that I am considering for my future body lift procedure.  I figured that they might be booked far in advance, so I'd get an early jump on it.  I am going to need A LOT of work done.  I was shocked when I was told that they don't want to see me until I hit my goal weight.  I figured that it would be done in stages, but what do I know?  Apparently not.  Bottom line, I guess I won't have a consult until I am in the neighborhood of 220.  I am assuming there may as much as 25 lbs of extra skin to remove once I am done.  Who knows?  I may hit goal on the table.


Balls
I went to the range tonight because I have played very little golf in recent years.  I wanted to hit a bucket of balls and try not to embarrass myself tomorrow.  I asked for the large bucket thinking it would be about 80 balls.  Wrong!  140 balls later, I am sore and tired.  The good part is that as I was going along, I thought I would never finish that bucket, but I got through it with a sense of pride.  I not only was hitting the ball better than I remember, but I had more stamina than I would have not too long ago.  I find it remarkable how having so much less in the way of my swing makes a big difference.  I can get my arms in a comfortable position much better with my reduced waist and chest.


Cya tomorrow,
M


What I ate today and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ Egg Mikemuffin: 1 egg, 1 slice of ham and a roasted tomato compote on a multi-grain sandwich round
Lunch ~ Steam shrimp and mixed vegetables on brown rice, w/brown sauce on the side
Dinner ~ Yesterday's dinner post never happened.  The wife and I ate at Panera, where I had lemon orzo soup and a vegetable sandwich.  Tonight I had the eggplant stew.
Exercise ~ 140 balls at the range was quite the full body workout.

Giving Notice

In the last week or so, I have gotten quite a few notices of the reduced me.  Totally unsolicited compliments on how people can really see how what I am doing is working.  Today it was a bartender at a restaurant we sing at, at the gig the other night it was an old neighbor that came by with her husband and, last week, a colleague, just to name a few.  In the past I was uneasy with this, but as I am hitting my stride and making long-lasting positive change, I have to say I am more okay with it.


People say "I can really see it up here.", and then make the obligatory motion that goes along with the compliment.  It's the one finger, circular maneuver that encompasses the face, neck and shoulders.  The same one I give my Mom when saying "See this, Mom?  This is me not caring.", when she is giving me extraneous info on a subject I wasn't all that interested in to begin with.  Mom does read this and she knows I always say it with good humor.  Love you, Mom!


The truth is, I can see it, too..."Up in here."  I am developing a jawline again.  My neck muscles are starting to reappear and my shirts just hang on me.  Oh!  And here is a news alert...I bought some new clothes today.  I am playing golf on Thursday and have nothing to wear to this fanciful outing.  It was a tough pill to swallow spending over $200 for clothes that won't make it to Christmas, but it's a good problem to have.  So there will be two new shirts and two new pairs of slacks for people to see me in when they make the face swirl gesture, "Up in here."


Cya tomorrow,
M


What I ate today and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ Kashi 7 Grain Nuggets w/fresh blueberries, toasted pecans and almond milk
Lunch ~ Tomato soup and a steak Caesar salad w/o croutons, dressing on the side
Snack ~ Homemade Sweet Fire Sticks pickled carrots (click for recipe)
Dinner ~ Eggplant stew over brown rice (click for recipe)
Exercise ~ 20 minutes of walking at the mall

Weigh-in: Week 18

If you read last night's post, you know I wasn't expecting much this week.  I ate out for business several times, had a couple glasses of wine, and while I wasn't off course, I didn't feel there was anything extraordinary that would lead to the kind of loss I saw last Monday.  That is why this morning's gravity test to see how much I suck wasn't one I looked forward to.  But it is gravity that sucks, not I.  I rule.


I may need new batteries for the scale.  I felt like I was taking a step class since I had to get on and off so much this morning.  The first two attempts were greeted with error messages, reminiscent of the old "one at a time, please" I always expect to see.  After that, if took forever for the thing to give me a result.  It said 304.8.  That couldn't be right.  Besides, I always make sure I get two identical results to make things official.  I took my pictures all the same and then remounted the twelve-inch-glass-disc that has the power to change moods in the blink of an eye.  306.  Hmmm.  Sounds more plausible, but much, much more than I hoped for.  Third reading was a charm.  306 lbs. it was!  Holy mackerel!  I lost 4.8 lbs. this week!  The total is now an 18-week loss of 57.4 lbs.  Body fat was a one-week record loss of 1.3%, down to 57.9%.  Water percentage rose 28.

I am champing at the bit (Do you say 'chomping' at the bit?) to get to 299.  I can't fall into the trap of expecting these kind of results weekly, so I will bask in my success for only a short time.  Then it is time to get back to my daily life.  A life that I am enjoying more each day.

Cya tomorrow,

M

What I ate today and how I exercised:

Breakfast ~ Italian Egg Mikemuffin: 1 egg, a slice of ham and a quickie roasted cherry tomato and basil spread that I whipped up, on a multi-grain sandwich round.  A tasty 260 calories.

Lunch ~ Amy's Samosa burrito

Mid-afternoon ~ Decaf Mocha Lite Frappaccino and some almonds

Dinner ~ Rotisserie chicken.  I should have had much more veggies/fruit today.

Dessert ~ I was wanting something more when I got home after a quick outing, I had a bowl of cereal.

A.L.O.E. 06.10.12

The end of another weekend and the end of another TDT195 week.  This weekend was relatively uneventful with the exception of a fall I took yesterday.  I guess it is a sign of old age when you fall and scrape scads of flesh from your limbs.  At least I didn't break a hip, but my right wrist and forearm are all battered and bruised.  It almost looks as though I botched an effort to end it all.  Here I sit, though, mostly intact, bringing you A Little Of Everything on this A.L.O.E Sunday.


Bacon Envy
I was at a training event for work earlier this past week and on the sandwich platter was a wrap that was loaded with bacon.  Bacon may very well be one of the few things I miss having in my food repertoire.  I was definitely coveting my coworker's lunch plate, wanting that salty, smokey, bacony fix.  Beef jerky comes close to satisfying my Oscar Meyer jones, but nothing compares to the real thing.  When we were packing up after the class, I saw a lonely half strip of bacon on the platter, perfectly done to my crunchewy liking.  I seized the moment and greedily snatched it up, savoring every nuance.  In retrospect, I didn't report that on my food log for Tuesday.  Sorry for the omission.  I am not sorry for the digression.  That half slice of bacon may have been the highlight of my week, second only to scale-reading on Monday.


Funny What People Notice
Last Monday at a meeting with one of my distributors, the GM of the branch was complimenting my coworker on his appearance and that he looked like he lost some weight.  This wouldn't normally be of significance, but the coworker in question is all of 168 lbs. and, perhaps, dropped 10 to get there.  We've spoken about my aversion to attention regarding my body.  Hence, it seems counterintuitive that I actually felt a little slighted.  Here, I had just a couple of hours earlier clocked in a 14.5% loss since I last saw this guy.  Honestly, his opinion doesn't carry much weight with me (no, not a pun), so why would I take exception to the lack of recognition?  People are strange...and I be a people.


Man Does Not Live By Bread Alone
But this man sure could.  Not to make this a theme day of things I miss, but bread is on the list.  I do eat bread regularly, but it is almost exclusively whole or sprouted grains (I'll explain sprouted grains another time.)  The point of bringing it up today is that I am finding it hard to acquire breads that fit the above criteria.  I don't always shop at Whole Foods Market and wish the more mainstream supermarkets would carry more healthy choices.  I generally don't like sucking down 100 calories a slice, especially if the fiber and nutritional values aren't up to snuff.  It just goes to reinforce what I've said before; be prepared.  If I want bread, I need to get to where the good stuff lives.


Cya for Monday for Weigh-in #18.  Why don't I feel like I've made progress this week?  We'll see in the morning.
M


What I ate today and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ Kashi 7 Grain Nuggets w/banana, fresh blueberries, toasted pecans and almond milk
Lunch ~ Sliced rotisserie chicken w/grilled onion and chipotle lite mayo on a whole grain sandwich round
Snack ~ Fat free Chobani peach yogurt 
Dinner ~ Tom Yum soup with chicken and a brown rice vegetarian sushi roll
Exercise ~ Yard work today.  Not as much as I would've liked, but coming off a gig last night which my back was problematic, it was enough

How Did I Get Here?: Part 15

My wife Tabitha and I started out as friends back in 2006.  We both shared a love of singing, an odd sense of humor (each different, but both odd) and just enjoyed our time with each other.  We went out a few times alone and I definitely had thing for her.  Her...not so much.  She just wasn't that attracted to me and thought of me as a friend.  There were a couple of times we went out and afterward decided that perhaps we weren't for each other.  That was until Mel Gibson day on July 28, 2006.  You've never heard of Mel Gibson Day?  It's celebrated annually in our house.  


I had invited Tabitha up to my home for a swim and perhaps dinner out.  When she arrived, the rain was just about to start, her modesty prevented her from bringing a swimsuit anyway and we just decided to adjourn to dinner.  We headed down the street to a now defunct place called Goodfellas and then went out for some singing.  Once we left the karaoke joint, I invited her into my place to watch a movie.  By this time it must've been 1AM and I asked her if she had ever seen Braveheart.  Well, if you haven't experienced this fabulous flick, made before Mel went batshit, it runs about 180 minutes.  We watched the movie until the wee dawn hours, all the while not knowing that at that very moment, drunken Mel was in a Malibu jail cell going off on Jews, the cops and telling everyone how he 'owns Malibu' and there would be hell to pay.  While Mel was showing the world his true colors, sparks were starting to fly back in NJ between Mike and Tabitha during his epic masterpiece and thus, Mel Gibson Day was inaugurated.  Coincidence?  I think not!  It had to be planets aligning to tell us something.... okay... coincidence, but if I ever need to jar my brain as to the date, there is plenty of documentation online about Mr. Gibson's fall from mega-stardom on that night that changed both our lives.


Tab was a practicing vegetarian at the time, so to say that we were culinarily mismatched is an understatement.  I was eating almost anything that moved and the richer and unhealthier the better.  She on the other hand, with the occasional exception of fish, was all about the veggies.  The first meal I cooked her was actually just like this past Thursday's entry of grilled vegetables and some overcooked tuna steaks.  I tried to wow her with my cooking wizardry. That time it fell short of the mark.

As our relationship progressed my weight and my eating habits were proving to be an obstacle in many areas.  I vowed to myself and eventually to her (although she never asked me to) to make changes and get healthy.  Although there were fits and starts of trying to lose weight, my addiction was more than I could handle and I fluctuated back and forth.  I managed to drop about 30 lbs. or so before our wedding in October of 2008, bringing me to the neighborhood of 340, but other than that, it was an up and down losing battle that I couldn't get my head around.  I have a few regrets in life and one is that I couldn't control my food demons in the early years of our relationship.  Tab is an active, healthy woman and we could have done a lot more had I been of today's mindset.  Of course, I wouldn't have the nifty story that is currently the number one blog entry you see above, called "My Wife Tried to Kill Me on October, 10, 2008", but I'd trade that in a heartbeat if I could.


Thanks for spending time with me today.


Cya Sunday,
M


What I ate Friday and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ 2 scrambled eggs with grilled peppers, onions and a chicken sausage
Lunch ~ An unbelievably good grilled veggie sandwich on a sprouted grain roll with balsamic basil vinaigrette
Dinner ~ Mussels Diablo and a chicken Caesar salad, one glass of wine and a piece of bread
Exercise ~ none...not good