You would think that after almost a year of living this lifestyle it would be so easy to stay on the straight and narrow and avoid giving in to things like fast food, sweets and fatty foods in general. This past month that is far from the case. Yes, I managed to lose most of the holiday 6.5 lb. gain, so some say "Don't be so hard on yourself." I say that now is exactly the time to be hard on myself. I need to stay focused and be mindful of what I put in my body. Anything less is not only unacceptable, but hypocritical to those who have followed my journey.
Let me give you an idea of what I ate this past weekend. Each year my brother helps run a fundraiser called The Bull Roast. Huge props to him and his Rotary Club. About a half dozen guys manage to throw a party for 600-800 people and raise between $14K to $18K for good causes. It is basically a huge buffet dinner dance with a silent auction for charity. The buffet is a protein-a-palooza with freshly carved pit beef (a Maryland version of roast beef), ham, turkey, raw oysters, roasted chicken, shrimp and a host of other selections. As I ate my way through the evening, I thought, "I am doing pretty good." since most of the choices I made were lean and decent portions. I avoided the mashed potatoes and the Seafood Newburg, the mac and cheese and white rice. However, reviewing my evening, I had indulged in a roast beef sandwich w/horse radish sauce, a piece of sausage with peppers and onions, some ham, crab soup, a chicken breast, about a dozen pieces of shrimp w/cocktail sauce, some beers and two small pieces of cake. That all adds up to a lot of calories and far more fat than I should eat at one sitting.
While I did thoroughly enjoy cooking a healthy meal for my family on Friday night, other meals over the long weekend weren't as well played. Fast food burgers, fries, beer, wine a few pieces of chocolate, biscotti and even pork roll passed my lips between Thursday night and Sunday dinner. When I am in an uncontrolled environment, I seem to lose my hold on things. It's very frustrating and sometimes makes me want to say "F it." After times like these, my car becomes more stressful and I have a strong desire to grab a drive through lunch or a candy bar on my way out of the grocery store where I just purchased the ingredients for a healthy dinner.
It's no secret that exercise and I are not on speaking terms. That bitch and I just don't like each other. As much as I say I want to bite the bullet be friends, I stay away. It almost seems as though I try to find a way to sabotage everything I have fought for thus far. The old Nike saying of "Just do it." is much, much easier said than done. "There's always tomorrow." is more of what I listen to from the shoulder with the devil on it.
I've been down this road before and frankly, it has never gone well. This time has to be different. I have been so lucky over the years not to have gotten severely ill or suffered from the strain put on me by my massive weight. I won't be so fortunate moving forward. The serendipity of having dodged bullets like diabetes, high blood pressure or failing joints has to have run out. No one's life is that charmed.
Buck up, Mike and get your shit together. This is your last chance. That is the advice I need to listen to these days. Well-intentioned expressions of 'being proud for what I have accomplished' or 'enjoying myself every once in a while', really do me no good. While the sentiment is much appreciated, tough love seems more in order.
That's where my head is at this week. Sure, there has been a lot of progress made, both in my weight and in my thinking. My choices are indeed much better on the whole. But those gains are easily lost when the "stinkin' thinkin' " creeps in at greater frequencies.
Today was a good one. I ate well and made excellent choices all day. Tomorrow I will build on this one and, as they say, take it one day at a time.
Cya next time,
M
What I ate today and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ The last leftover enchilada with a fried egg on top made for a very hearty start to the day for only around 410 calories.
Lunch ~ A grilled chicken sandwich on a whole grain roll
Dinner ~ Turkey meatloaf with a chipotle BBQ glaze and whipped roasted garlic cauliflower, which I heard multiple times during dinner was "F'n delicious." I will do the meatloaf recipe in the future and the cauliflower will be posted tomorrow. The entire meal was only 337 calories and 10.2 g of fat... and it was more than enough food. Things like this make me happy.
Exercise ~ none
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