"What's in My Head Wednesday"

I've taken this blogging thing very seriously.  I have a page on my laptop where I jot down talking points I'd like to cover, but there is always a fear that I might not have something to write about on any given day.  And I really want to do this everyday.  It's kind of cathartic.  So in an effort to be sure the well doesn't run too dry, I had the idea to do a weekly feature or recurring theme as it were.  Thus, "What's in My Head Wednesday" was born.  Not sure why, but really don't like typing out the word Wednesday.  So from here on out it will be referred to as WIMHW.  Well that wasn't all that easy either.  Screw it.  You know what day it is.  The point is to give you, my journey mate, some insight into where my psyche is at in this point of the project.  This is no easy road I have to hoe and I am sure that if you have struggled with food, alcohol, smoking, eating couch cushions or cigarette ashes (Strange Addictions on TLC), or what ever, you know what I mean.

Truth is, I feel pretty damned good about myself as of late.  I am ever vigilant about what pitfalls might arise and I still have many, many temptations, but I am able to have much shorter arguments in my head about them. My Devil: "Michael, you really want that appetizer that has the goat cheese.  It's only once and you can eat just a little."  Michael: "No I can't.  Shut the fuck up."  Done deal.  It's nice to win an argument for a change.  Even if it is just with myself. 
Note to sensitive readers: Sorry for the language.  It's limited, but it does come out and I am trying to keep this real so that if you don't already know me...you will.

I am trepidatious in my feeling of achievement.  I can't celebrate.  Keep the eye on the prize. I know I won't miss whatever it is I am passing on deep down.  But I do have that fear that I might cave.  And that my friend is a good thing.  That fear of what might happen gives me instant resolve.  That "one day at a time" mantra is too neatly packaged for me.  Fact is that everyday is fraught with many battles.  So it is one battle at a time.  Today was a heavily embattled day.

For those who don't know, I am a manufacturer's rep in the electronic component industry.  I won't get into what that means, but the short of it, I am in sales.  Today started with a stressful meeting at 8AM.  I didn't make time for breakfast and had one hour's worth of windshield time between my 8AM lobotomy session and the next appointment.  My theory is, better to eat breakfast as smartly as you can, then to skip breakfast all together.  So today breakfast was a small decaf and an Egg McMuffin w/o the Canadian bacon.  280 calories and about 9 grams fat.  The battle was over the hash browns and Canadian bacon.  Love those buggers.  Happy to report it was a one round knockout.  Tempted, but didn't give it serious consideration.  The smart thing would have been to preplan and remove all temptation.  Hey, it's only nine days in and I am still working out the smart thing.

Lunch was a business lunch as was dinner.  Three meals dining out today was a scary proposition.  I handled all with great aplomb and I came home tonight damned proud to have not succumbed.  I am not on a diet, I am making a lifestyle change.  Today was a major step toward living in the real working world as a healthy person.  Chalk one up for the big guy.

Pardon the length of today's offering.  My head is a vast space and if you know me well, brevity ain't my strong smoot, as they say.

Cya tomorrow,
M

What I ate today:

Breakfast ~ Meatless Egg McMuffin w/decaf and 1 creamer
Lunch ~ Salad with a wee smidge (literally 1 tsp?) of balsamic dressing on the side.  The salad had mesclun greens, 3 oz grilled salmon, carrots, walnuts, chick peas, roasted red peppers and artichokes.  Squoze some lemon over it.  The peppers and the artichokes gave so much flavor that the dressing seemed unnecessary.  Really enjoyed it.  Tip:  Just drag your fork through a little bit of dressing before skewering that bite.
Dinner ~ Roasted beet and arugula salad, lightly dressed.  Grilled salmon with roasted eggplant and radicchio.  Decaf w/1Tbs 1/2 & 1/2.  Oh yeah, I was social and had a nonalcoholic beer beforehand.