The same holds true for what motivates us to break the cycle. I haven't ever totally explained my reasoning for making changes in my life and, perhaps, some day I will, but for now, it's too personal. What amazes me is that too many people have an idea in their head as to what will fix everyone else. "It worked for me, it should work for everyone!" Ummmm... no. Let me give an example.
I had lunch the other day with my adopted family. I call them my adopted family because not only are we very much alike, but I love their humor, commitment to each other and their craziness (and I say that in a good way). We always enjoy each other's company and laugh our butts off when sitting around the table. The sense that we are like family was driven home to me by the fact that five of them, from three different households, showed up to have lunch with me on a weekday and spend time. There was no special occasion other than the fact that I was coming for lunch. That is very moving to me.
The father of my adopted family was telling of his theories of how to break addictions and what will undoubtedly make anyone realize that they need to adopt change. For ease of storytelling, let's call him Ed. Ed was saying that once someone realizes that their behaviors are going to kill them, their survival instincts will kick in and make them stop, just like showing a diseased lung to a smoker or a ravaged liver to a drinker. Ed was in Vietnam and saw some atrocious things that he, and many like him, never speak of. Those atrocities were inflicted by those that were nicknamed "Charlie." (The VC, or Viet Cong in military speak is "Victor/Charlie" Why they didn't call them Victor, I have no clue.) Ed wanted to quit smoking after being scared shitless and hacking up black bile in a coughing fit one day. He knew he was killing himself. From then on, he thought of his cigarettes as Charlie and told himself "I won't let Charlie kill me!" each time he craved a smoke. That mindset served him well in Vietnam and would be used save him in the battle against tobacco. I thought it was a great way for Ed to give a face to the devil on his shoulder and kick the habit all those years ago.
What I tried to explain to Ed was two-fold. Just as his unique experiences let him beat nicotine, someone else's unique history could just as easily prevent them from doing so. When an addict is so engulfed in his or her addiction, sometimes they don't care if they live or die. They just seek their next fix. Knowing it could kill them doesn't matter. Unless they can visualize something better as an alternative to death, they will choose the addiction every time. That is why I encourage everyone to see and be what things can be like when they cut lose from their damaging habits. Too many people can't see past their next, pizza/cigarette/high/wager to understand what life could be like without it. Visualization of something that positively takes hold of you and believing it is attainable is key. There has to realistic hope for a better life.
Secondly, (I have said this before here, so forgive me) that while I do not diminish anyone's addictions, food is a totally different animal. We can all do without any other addictive behavior, but going cold turkey on eating, just makes you one very cold turkey. You have to eat no matter what. Steer clear of the vodka and Marlboros and you can physically survive. So the rationale used in putting down the butts, booze and bong just doesn't apply.
Find what moves you to want something better. It won't be what moves Ed or Betty, but you are the most import piece of your equation. Visualize how good life can be and work toward it. If things can be broken down into a simplified equation, that would be it. Unfortunately, things aren't ever that simple and there are no universal truths other than in your own personal universe.
Cya later,
M
What I ate Tuesday and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ a Cliff Mojo bar en route to an all day meeting
Lunch ~ an Indian samosa wrap
Snack ~ some almonds and a grande Mocha Lite Frappaccino
Dinner ~ seared ahi appetizer and wood-fired salmon with mango salsa, steamed asparagus and broccoli
Exercise ~ none
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