Stress

We have been brought up to look at food for celebration, communion, an offering of a gift, to a lesser degree nutrition and also a means of comforting ourselves.  Comfort is one of the most dangerous for a food addict.  It's something that is always available for you, even when people aren't.  You can get it anywhere.  If you are stressed or just plain bored, you can settle into your poison of choice and shovel it in.  It could be chips, chocolate, ice cream, cake, fast food, whatever.  

Food addicts do not need a reason to eat, but stress helps us justify it in our own warped minds as a "legitimate" reason.  I have found it's one of the hardest triggers to overcome in my recovery.  This past week has been a total stress test for my resolve.  So far, so good, but it hasn't been easy.

Work as a sales professional is often challenging, especially when you work on total commission.  Aside from some serious fires that needed to be put out at key customers, I found a huge return on the books for something I was paid on eight months ago.  That's money that comes off the top of my next check.  Significant money.  It goes with the job, but you never get used to those surprises.

Tuesday evening my wife was complaining of some discomfort and progression of some symptoms that she was experiencing for a few days.  When she tried to get some sleep, it wasn't happening, due to the issues.  It was time to get her to he E.R.  So at around 11:30PM on Tuesday we entered Morristown Medical Center and went through the typical tests.  At around 4:30AM, we were told they wanted to observe her and I went home to try and get some sleep.  That would be far from fitful rest.  I returned to MMC at around 11AM the next morning, just in time for a specialist to see her.  While he said she looked good, he wanted to run a bunch of blood tests to possibly get to the root of the problems.  She feels better now, yet we still have no answers.  The blood tests should be back by Wednesday of this coming week.  We should know more soon after.  Hopefully she will continue to feel better.

When the stress train rolls into town, it's hard to keep your head.  The battle in my head that makes me want to do a faceplant into meatlover's with extra cheese is stress upon stress.  Last night I did a boatload of cooking of healthy food, so that I could have something to dig into that was far less harmful than death by pizza.  There is a big batch of minestrone (recipe this Thursday) and a pot of 99% lean turkey chili in the fridge, waiting to nourish me, instead of sending me into a food coma.

I'm still trying to figure out what my relationship will be with food moving forward in my healthier life and repourpose how I use it.  It will be crucial to my survival as a fit, healthy person.  I guess it is like they say.  One day at a time.

Cya Sunday,
Mike

What I ate Friday and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ Pumpkin Flax Granola w/ 1/2 a banana and almond milk
Lunch ~ Some chicken and Cliff Bar
Dinner ~ Steak, mashed parsnips and potatoes and a bowl of homemade minestrone
Exercise ~ 20 minutes on the treadmill