It's What You Crave

crave/krāv/ Verb: feel a powerful desire for (something)

Apologies to the White Castle folks for co-opting their slogan.  I do like those greasy little buggers.  Lately, I have been thinking about things I have gone without.  As in yesterday's post about wanting pizza, I have as of late, been thinking about various foods I would LOVE to enjoy... absolutely craving them.  On the list are, BBQ'd pork, a think juicy medium steak, a loaded baked potato, TGIF Garlic Parmesan wings and buttery, salty movie popcorn.  While I have been enjoying the food I have been eating lately, thoughts are creeping in about what I haven't been tasting.

I was planning to go to the movies tonight, while Tab is at class.  Just me.  I rather enjoyed the books and wanted to see The Hunger Games (Ironic, huh?).  I didn't go because I needed to avoid the temptation of the popcorn.  I tried to tell myself, or rather the devil on my shoulder tried to tell me, get a kids sized popcorn with just a touch of butter.  Sit alone in the dark and savor each kernel.  Have a Diet Coke/Pepsi, even though you've sworn off caffeine.  The addiction is tricky like this.  It tries to minimize the lies we tell, in order to justify them somehow.

When walking, sometimes I just want to quit early.  Maybe, just go 1.8 miles instead of 2.  Realize, there are days that I write the blog prior to walking or eating, knowing what the rest of the day will bring.  So in my mind, it's locked in.  I have committed to you that I will, indeed, walk 2 miles.  But if I didn't, who would know?  Well, I would, of course, but I can probably live with that.  What I can't live with is starting a pattern that flies in the face of the accountability I feel to my readers.  What I am starting to understand about addiction, a very slippery slope can be started by even the smallest of deceptions.  Once you cross a line, the next fraction over the line is more easily justified.  1.8 miles walked instead of the 2 reported, becomes, 1.7, then 1, until ultimately, you just don't go at all.  Similarly, a 2 ounce portion of pasta becomes 4 ounces, then 8.  Once that line is breached, it is a moving target that the devil on your shoulder helps you rationalize.

I guess, in the end, it comes down to degrees of craving.  Although I crave a taste of bacon, or a PB&J on white bread, or a thick, vinegary Italian sub sandwich, what I crave most is a new and improved life.  I'll be sure to tell myself that each time temptation comes calling.  I've waited long enough. 

Oh...and by the way, a medium movie popcorn with butter, has upwards of 1200 calories and 60-70 grams of fat.

Cya tomorrow for WIMHW,
M

What I ate and how I exercised:

Breakfast ~ Possibly, the last Amy's Breakfast Burrito :(

Lunch ~ A kitchen sink of a salad, w/mixed greens, sprouts, carrots, white tuna and more, lightly dressed in my homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

Afternoon snack ~ A pink grapefruit

Dinner ~ Kabocha squash and tofu in a green curry sauce, over brown rice and wilted kale.

Exercise ~ None today.  Took the day off.