My niece had ordered buttermilk pancakes and bacon. Now, understand something. There is no greater temptation for me than bacon. The taste, the smell, the mouth feel, it all does it for me like nothing else in the food world. For the record, I like mine 'crunchewy'. That sweet spot between limp and crunchy. I said to Tabitha, "That's one thing I miss is bacon." She said, "Perhaps after you've been without it for a while, you're body will rebel and let you know you are eating something unhealthy. You just won't want it anymore." Heresy! Like that would ever happen! I love bacon! Just like the dog in the Beggin' Strips commercials. Bacon, Bacon, BACON!!! I'll spare you the conversation that ensued, but the premise for today's blog entry was born. It got me thinking, what is wrong with my pleasure-pain mechanism?
If you have been reading regularly (I know some of you just check in on the weigh-in days, which is perfectly cool), then you know I have written about just dozens of the thousands of negative reinforcements I have experienced in my life. Yet all of those embarrassments and pain, both mentally and physically, did not deter me from inflicting further damage on myself. I developed into a food masochist. The mechanisms of addictions are far greater than the mechanisms that Mother Nature put in place to keep us safe. I have had lengthy discussions with people about whether we are deluded when we make poor choices, that they are actually worth the outcome, or do we just lie to ourselves, knowing deep down that the despite our knowledge of the consequences, we act in a counterintuitive fashion? I have arrived at the conclusion that I just became plain apathetic, resigned to the fact that I was powerless over food. So regardless of my understanding that what I was about to put in my mouth was harmful to me, I indulged time after time. My pleasure-pain mechanism was, indeed, faulty. It will be interesting to see if this priciple is suppressed or if it manifests itself in version Mike.2. I certainly do not want some other self-destructive habit to take over where food left off.
Someday I will eat bacon again. I'll eat other less than healthy foods, I am sure. It won't be any time soon, but I do expect when the moment comes, I will do so in moderation and use the smarts I was given to override the faulty switch. I am no longer powerless over food, but I am wise enough to know that it is waiting to make a comeback. The former champion always wants another title shot. But from now on, the ever-shrinking championship belt is mine. Sorry, devil.
Cya tomorrow for A.L.O.E Sunday,
M
What I ate today and how I exercised:
Brunch ~ 1.5 delicious whole grain banana nut pancakes with decaf
Dinner ~ Bloggergirl45 whipped up a scrumptious alternative for us non corned beef folks, with a Tofu Curry. Don't judge! Here is a link to an excellent blog and the recipe in her post "Currying Flavor" http://mrose414.blogspot.com/?spref=fb I also did celebrate St. Patty's Day with 3 O'Doul's (70 calories each, btw)
Exercise ~ Today I worked outside for while, redoing the lighting in my front yard and doing some spring cleaning. I will try to get in 4 miles on Sunday. Tune in and find out how successful I was.
While I've been able to deprive myself of food for certain intense short periods of time, I find it is quite healthy from a psychological perspective to treat...or rather...reward yourself on occasion. If I did treat myself to a guilty pleasure why dieting, I would subsequently inflict maximum pain on myself to counter act whatever "harm" treating myself did. In my case it would be anything from skipping a meal or two or having an extended or a double session workout. In most of the diet plans I've read over the years, particularly in Men's Health, the dieter seems to always recommend rewarding yourself once a week. I don't know if that kind of reward becomes a potentially harmful chink in the long range dieting armor that you've developed. The last thing you'd want to do is open yourself up for slippage to fall off the diet regimen. I think that's up to each person to decide for themselves. I just personally found that my weakness for certain foods could be overcome by my guilt by burning those calories off that I treated myself to. And the net result is very positive I think - I got to taste some food I was missing and I got in a very vigorous workout.
ReplyDeleteThat last comment was by Rick Julian (my Google account didn't show up for some reason).
DeleteThanks Rick. I agree with all that you say and I know you are one of the most fit people I know. I got the same feedback from someone while at a party yesterday. I think two things should be pointed out though. When speaking of an addiction to food, the rules change somewhat. Distinction number two is that I am not on a diet, per se. I am living a new lifestyle, and, for me, I have no room for splurging these days. It's important to note that we are all individuals and have different triggers. That is why I am not following just another program, as in the past. Thanks so much for not only reading, but for participating. I appreciate it more than you know.
Delete