How Did I Get Here?: Part 13

The job I had before my present position evolved into my being the National Sales Manager for a small manufacturer here in New Jersey.  This meant that I was responsible for traveling around the country and meeting with our representatives, customers, distributors and doing trade shows.  Regular stops were Las Vegas, Orlando, Washington D.C., Los Angeles and Denver.  Because we were a small company, many of these trips were done by myself.  The perils of being a 350 lb. man and business travel are many.  I probably spent about 110 nights in a hotel the final year I was with that job.  One third of a year with poor sleep, sore feet and a bad back.  You can appreciate why I don't miss that job much.  Wait.  Come to think of it, the other 255 days weren't much different...oh well.


Air travel for me was never fun.  I've mentioned before that planes are a major source of embarrassment.  There is the request for a seat belt extension and the inevitable second request, because the flight attendant never remembers in the pre-flight frenzy (An overdue shout out of thanks to those that not only remembered, but delivered it discreetly.)  You then slide sideways down the aisle looking ahead to the faces that say, "Please not next to me, please not next to me, please not next to me..."


When making reservations, you select your seat on the plane based on your knowledge of the aircraft, the flight's level of bookings and specifications of a particular row.  First, I would look to see if the emergency row was available first.  These rows have more leg room and as a result, the tray table is about 5-6 inches farther from you than the other options (except the first or bulkhead rows, which have the trays built into the armrest).  This is ideal, because when you have a waistline over 50 inches, other rows have a tray table that hits you mid-gut before it lays flat.  That would mean no food, holding your drink all the time and no laptop or work space.  If those coveted seats aren't open (they usually go first), then I look for a seat with no one next to me.  This way I could poach the tray table next to mine.  Usually, I would wind up at the back of the plane as it would fill up last and the chances of an adjoining seat being free were optimal.  There is nothing sweeter than having an unoccupied seat next to you or, even better yet, a whole aisle to yourself.  The trade-off is, that though the extra room is great, strangers are doing the peepee dance in your face whilest queuing up for the bathroom...and don't get me started on the persistent smell.


Sitting in a plane for hours on end is uncomfortable at best.  More often than not, you are crammed between two people or one person and the window.  If you are lucky enough to get an aisle, the big man gets hammered by passersby or the service trolley.  Forget about sleeping.  My former snoring habit would wake King Tut. (Gratefully, my losing 45 lbs. has since relieved the wife of my night singing.)  You sit for up to 7 hours wedged into the constraints of the seat's armrests, arms crossed over your chest as to not intrude into the space of person next to you, with the twins in the Netherlands compacted like two nuggets of coal cooking their way to diamondhood.  I don't plan on having children, but if I did, I would think that capability was left on a Continental B737.


The trade shows require setting up the booth and all of your wares.  In my case, that was mounting plasma TVs, our accompanying video processors, computers, DVD players and the demos to be running on them.  If you have ever gotten a new piece of AV equipment in your house and had to unpack the boxes, run wires and get everything to work properly, you know it can be a challenge.  Doing that by yourself with showtime breathing down your neck, on multiple screens is a royal pain in the (insert pained body part here).  You stand for 1-3 days and if you were smart enough to have rented a chair for your booth, you can sit on rare occasion to take a much needed rest.  I have said before how hard it was for me to stand for long stretches of time, but trade shows were torturous.  After a few days of hell, you pack everything up and wait for the Teamsters to collect your precious cargo.  12 hour days, at best, end in a nice flight home, performing the Nutcracker Seat.


There was one trade show I will never forget.  Well, the trade show was forgettable, but the pack up was a lasting memory.  This was a local one at Madison Square Garden.  Who knew that under the seats of the arena was an exhibition hall, just feet from the ice/court?  After this one day show, my boss and I were packing up and there were these two older housekeeping ladies in front our booth, going through their cleanup rituals.  One of the ladies, who reminded me of Florida Evans on Good Times, was staring at me, wiping a rag into mid-air, with her jaw agape.  At first I thought maybe I had a bat in the nose cave or some other hygiene faux pas, but it got really uncomfortable.  I said to my boss, "Andy, are you seeing this?"  Andy looked up from his cable winding duties and said to her, "Ma'am, is everything okay?"  Still in a trance, she just kept staring at me as if hypnotist had dangled a swinging pocket watch and in a monotone dullness said, "He just so handsome."  I was blown away that this lady was treating me like I was a circa 1964 Beatle.  I walked over, gave her a hug and told her that she made my day.  I guess all shows weren't excruciating after all.  Despite all my body aches, the long rush hour ride home from the city was done with a smile on my face.  It's a lesson that I've remembered often: a kind word to a stranger is a free gift that can last a lifetime.


Cya Sunday,
M


What I ate Friday and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ Leftover hash, toast, a perfectly poached egg and cantaloupe
Lunch ~ Chopped salad with mixed spring greens, carrots, smoked turkey, ham, toasted pumpkin seeds and chipotle lime vinaigrette
Dinner ~ Mom's turkey chili over brown rice, plus an after dinner decaf with fat free half and half (once the half and half is gone, no more)
Exercise ~ None today.  I have a buttload of work coming up on Saturday to more than make up for it.