Speak of the Devil

I have often contended that nature has endowed us with an inherent ability to know what we should eat and what we should avoid.  On some level it is a variant of our brains saying that food that smells bad is dangerous and aromas that are pleasing are edible.  This isn't a scientific fact that I present, but a personal certainty that our bodies want us to nourish ourselves properly and when we choose a donut over a piece of fruit or some healthy cereal, we overridden our programming with the free will we have also been granted.  It's the age old angel on one shoulder and devil on the other.


I used to reference that devil in my rantings here, but as of late he hasn't been spoken of much.  For the longest while he was on a holiday somewhere, perhaps on the shoulder of some other fat guy, maybe Chris Christie or Louie Anderson.  I knew he'd be back.  And I had a feeling that it would be right around the time I hit 299.  Having a food addiction is a lifelong struggle.  Just like an alcoholic never becomes cured, there is always a kernel of the addiction planted deep inside of us abusers of food.  Someone wrote me a Facebook message the other day and mentioned a friend of theirs that had slimmed down.  When you would compliment him on his svelte form, he would reply "Thanks, but there is still a fat f**k on the inside."  Lately, I feel my 'fat f**k' trying to emerge once again.  I haven't been eating candy or pizza or anything someone would look at and say "Geez, that's bad for you."  What I have been doing is blurring the line with a little bread while eating out, a glass or two more wine during the week or a SoCo rocks here or there.


These are the small variances that have tended to derail my efforts in the past.  Much like small victories add up and make you feel like a winner, so, too, do the failures to yield to the angel on my shoulder move me closer to backsliding.  These missteps have gravity much more than caloric impact.  It's the wearing down of progress and of my resolve.  So today I write of these things in an effort to remind myself to stay the course and shun the devil.  I'm still in a good place, but peeking over the fence to see what it is like where I used to live doesn't serve me well.  


To help push me back to my center, the cosmos sent me a message in the form of a dream.  Not a dream of mine, mind you, but a dream via my wife Tabitha.  On Thursday night, she had a vision of the thin me.  Much of the dream was about my future skin removal surgery.  It was rather odd, like many dreams are, but that wasn't the part that moves me.  When retelling the story, her eyes were alight with joy for the future me she saw.  I was fit, confident and happy.  She saw what I have been envisioning in my head for the longest time.  She got to scry into the future and know what lies ahead and she was excited.  It was infectious seeing that joy in her eyes as she told me about it.... several times yesterday, in fact.  So thank you, sleeping Tabitha, for energizing me and motivating me to eschew that devil on my shoulder.  On to the next small victory for me.


Cya Sunday,
M


What I ate today and how I exercised:
Breakfast ~ Grape Nuts (generic brand, actually) w/fresh blueberries and almond milk
Lunch ~ Sliced roasted turkey on whole grain Italian bread w/tomato and lite mayo
Dinner ~ Seen here, I had an arugula salad with tomato, chick peas and fat-free feta, drizzled w/lemon and EVOO and some homemade sweet potato baked falafel on the side.  Looks good, right?
Evening out ~ 1.5 O'Douls
Exercise ~ None